rale! Be walking around like a ballplayer. And you can’t really say that about all of the comedians on that list. Shine bright like a diamond Shine bright like a diamond I’m like, “Is she a little witch? ‘Cause her other song last year was a scary song to me. Like when we came up, it used to be sexual innuendo. I want to feel it right away. Shit. Barack might quit like that black lady did on the news. They come back to the house. You know it. Chris Rock’s first comedy special with Netflix, Tamborine, surprised subscribers this week with a sudden release on Valentine’s Day. Snapchat your pussy. In that order?” They say, “Yeah.” I say, “Oh, no. She dope with it though. Every gangster rapper would get murdered by your stupid logic. Put some respect on my shit. Well, you might be disappointed in the second half. The second half might be weaker, but it’s my favorite. I’m in my room chillin’. My piece on Aristotle and Bo Burnham. [imitates mooing] And them mothers will fight your ass too. Right when I was parking to go in, that song came on. What the hell is she doing?” Scary-ass little song. I couldn’t even imagine walking through a Walmart parking lot and seeing a loose-ass lion. He’s clearly still figuring out who he is and who he wants to be. You get old and you don’t even realize it. You ever hear the song? “I need my medication.” I’m feeling good, man. I don’t know why they be talking about he soft. We get to see Chris Rock coming to terms with cheating on his wife and breaking up his marriage. He knew he wanted a similar vibe, and it anyone in the comedy world is having a moment right now with staging and lighting, it’s Bo. He about to trip.” Not long ago, he was talking about I’ve done all I can do with this and that. ‘Cause you got energy, man. So it be a love song, and then out of nowhere, it be a tragedy. Categories. It might not seem ballsy due to the demographic of the audience, but remember what country we live in. Don’t worry. But I believe it’s an exact quote if you look it up. I think Hillary want to win just so she can get Bill back. They be corn-fed, cock-strong motherfucking boys. at least he's honest about it. Don’t. Shit. Go and have a seat. The Entertainer – I’m a great dancer. Boy. In our minds, we like, “White boy, I’ll beat your motherfucking ass.” You better go on with that bullshit, boy.” You don’t do that shit in the country, man. “It’s that new, Ced. Saw this shit on YouTube the other day. You in college. They was like, “Unh-unh, table dances…” Table dances is $80, Latrell.”. He walkin’ in the house one day. His choice to hire Bo Burnham as the director is telling. What I’m sayin’ is, it’s a gateway apparel. All these dope colleges down here, man. It’s a lot of choreography. – Y’all know it. You a grown man. “What up, Dad?” I say, “Oh, no, you wanna put all that shit up when you walk in the house.” Put them shoulders in the closet, put your chest in the drawer.” I ain’t gonna have all this walk around my goddamn house. Have it in that little tank on the dresser. Coming to you straight from the Rialto Square Theatre in Joliet, IL to your seat at home! © 2021 Scraps from the Loft. So it kind of hurt us when Paula Deen said the N-word at all. – [Audience] Yeah! How often do you ever see art where the protagonist isnt the victim? They got the eyelashes that’s all fleek and shit, n i g g a. I don’t know what this lady said, but that giraffe had had enough of her ass. That’s a little app. “N i g g a.” Animals all mad and shit. I like him ’cause he got a melodic kind of rap style. When I first heard it, I ain’t know what Snapchat was. [06/20/19 - 07:32 AM] Big3 to Debut This Weekend on CBS with CBS Sports Offering 50 Hours of Coverage Across CBS and CBS Sports Network The team will again feature longtime play-by … It’s already hard enough. Chris slows his roll. I got everything you can order on the infomercial. And they yours, you been raising them, but you realize your kids do things you do that you didn’t really think you taught them, but you gotta deal with it now. It’s such a ballsy risk right at the top of the show. Black country is a whole ‘nother dialogue altogether. At a run time of 97 minutes, this one will have you laughing all night. You know, Al Sharpton lost too much goddamn weight though. This is the “Okay sure, but why do I care”. Go on now!” That ain’t for black people right there, that shit. Shine bright like a diamond I think I’ll stay in the car till morning. Oh, get some of those sheets. First, about the Miss Universe shit. We can fire it up. The last couple of years… It started with the Chick-fil-A man. Leave for two days. I’d sing the chicken national anthem so goddamn well. I don’t know if y’all know this. His old ass. I like all rap. And I don’t know who be voting for him. “Ced, why your boy got Paula Deen on the talk show?” First of all, it’s a talk show, motherfucker. That’s too close. I’ve heard comedians talk about the role they played in their own divorce (Pete Holmes monologues) or how they can be self-destructive (Maron, Thinky Pain), But this, Chris Rock talking opening about cheating and the end of his 16 year marriage. C’s, D’s. You know. Ron Isley had to go to jail. But then you be doing regular life and some old shit happen to you, like, “Ooh, I’m older than a mofo.” Like you be pouring cereal and your knee go out. Obviously there’s a lot to Chris Rock has experience in this world that I have not. This is it. Murphy, who earned his first Emmy nomination 37 years ago for his performance on “Saturday Night Live,” took the award for outstanding guest actor in a comedy series during Saturday night’s Creative Arts Emmys ceremony, Entertainment Weekly reported. He trying to be on social media. That last day, Barack ain’t gonna put on no suit. N i g g a, no.” Get you one of them hoverboards, you can go to the club in one of them. I love the guy. I could be off a little bit. … We just carry it with us in case we gotta run in somewhere, man.” It’s a trip, man. “You want a Cialis, my n i g g a?” No? The jegging kind, the real super-skinny ones. N i g g a, that’s… That’s… “That’s pretty expensive.” As soon as he did that, at your local strip club, all the girls went up. I been calling that boy Bominicious all week. I’m like, “Cool.” He hopped in the backseat with her. I’m there. “Fuck, boy, pussy, n i g g a, I won everything. The first half of the special follows jokes about police brutality, race, bullying, etc. won a Peabody Award in 2012 and has received six Primetime Emmy Awards, as well as numerous awards for The Chris Rock Show, Louie, and his stand-up specials Live at the Beacon Theater (2011) and Oh My God (2013). Fuck up some commas Fuck up some commas, yeah Sure enough, we in a club, this motherfucker’s phone rings. You don’t know you’re doing it. They ain’t really give a shit about clothes no more. Just saying.” Like, damn, Barack. What? Little bitty scrawny ass motherfucker walk around. We see it first. Been lifting baby bulls since they was six-years-old and shit. I’m like the last fat brother in Hollywood. Like he’s been eating Cheetos and just rubbed it on his face. Black people, we had to deal with it a couple of years ago with, you know, Mary J. Blige. January 08, 2020. But when you get older, you know you getting older ’cause old shit happen to you. Barack got to fuck around and get some tattoo tears, n i g g a, shit. It’s good. You ever see a possum dead on the side of the road? They like, “For the love of Allah!” Suicide. I like that thread count on that shit.” I don’t know why they be messing with that man like that, man. No. I came home one night and our lights was off at the house. And he’s the best example of someone taking responsibility for his shit that I’ve seen in years. When it first came out, I understood it, because that’s when new designer underwear came on the scene. I’m concerned about this shit. Give it up for Ced Cedric Bam! I got some country-ass cousins… It’s fast and it’s country and it all ran together. Every time he win, it be a thousand people voting for Trump. Larry the Cable Guy is back to Git R Done. I got one kid, 26. He out. Sit!” The lion would be looking at me, “Do I know you, motherfucker?” “I’m just trying not to get ate, Lion. If I saw a loose-ass lion, I would turn into a lion tamer. Chris Rock Re-Edits a Special, and the Result Is Fascinating 12-01-2021 20:22 via nytimes.com With “Total Blackout: The Tamborine Extended Cut,” the comic effectively erases the stamp of the original director, Bo Burnham, and turns in a less intimate show. So if you're down with Ice Cube let me know that you know/ Yo turn off the radio/” I’m starting to think Ice Cube was a bit prophetic in his lyricisms since it was relatable back in 1990 and still 26 years later. “Shit, damn.” Shit is embarrassing. It was his 1996 HBO Special Bring the Pain that really changed everything, he blew up, became a household name, became a star. [chuckles] That’s the difference too. I’m on my way home one day. He ain’t called me to tell me. He tried to mix in with the other giraffes and shit. Fetty Wap had a little accident earlier in the year where he was on a motorcycle. Give it up for Ced – Cedric – Give it up for Ced Damn, that’s hot. Rating accuracy . A happy little comedy special about divorce. It will be gone. Baby D - Hit The Dancefloor (80 BPM) 03 - Dem Franchise Boyz - Talikin' Out The Side Of Ya Neck (81 BPM) 04 - Skillz - 2007 Wrap Up (86 BPM) 05 - Ice Cube - Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It (87 BPM) 06 - Scarface feat. Your mama’s my sister. I like coming down South too, man. She was a honky tonk badonkadonk You don’t have to knows it She got me goin’ She got it goin’ on Like Donkey Kong N i g g a, I be in my room line dancing like a mother. He be bragging too, like, “Hey, boy, hey.” [chuckles] “Hey, boy, I’m still out there in the game, boy, you know?” I’m picking ’em up and I’m putting ’em down. I had to hit him with the Menace II Society. – Everybody know the Lemonade shit. That’s why comedy is awesome. I don’t know. [laughing] I like what’s happening, what’s goin’ on. Fuck it.” [grunts], [woman cackling] Dead. Black people, we were mad ’cause Paula Deen, you know, real, on the low, we mad Paula Deen said the N-word. I just had a birthday. Boop. Sandler is Sandler, and this was a nice return to the childlike fun of some of his early career. [Jimmie Walker] He is a legend in the stand-up game. Random Posts. I got my own… sell my own gym membership. Anthony Anderson lost weight. She ended up singing the chicken song for Burger King and that kind of offended us. It’s totally different than black country. Whole thing. The Internation Society of Humor Studies Conference, 2017. You got to play it real slow. You don’t know what the fuck they be saying. He begins discussing his cheating, his previous porn addiction, his family, and the end of his 16-year marriage. I got a little boy, man. Trip, man. Yet somehow MC Eiht, DJ Quik, Game, Ice Cube, WC, Kurupt, Daz, Kool G. Rap, Scarface, Willie D., and THOUSANDS of other gangster rappers have rapped about k*lling n*ggas and worse on records but somehow still alive and living fine. They don’t really give a shit. I caught myself in the mirror, n i g g a, just… That’s the other thing too… You be down South, you get outside, like, the city limit you get into that little country area, you’ll run into some of them good old boys out there, man. Never! She gonna hit me up the other day, “Daddy, would you buy me the new Camaro?” I’m like, “What?” “Yeah, I want you to get me the new Camaro.” “The new Camaro? Big rapper. This n i g g a seemed to raise the Blue Book on these bitches right here. What a wall gonna be… 15-, 16-feet tall? He gonna go out on a date, he tell me take them to the movies. He noted how black celebrities... Read More . You gotta be thinkin’ about it. And I was checkin’ into the hotel today, the manager asks me, “We got you in the best room on the top floor.” I said, “Oh, no.” No, no. It’s fine. I got three kids. Now these dudes got they pants all up under they ass and shit. It’s something like stripper Tourette’s. I mean, hey, he say ‘motherfucker’ or ‘Fuck that shit, dawg’ or ‘We ’bout to blow this bitch up.’ Or something like that, I would have taken responsibility. '” Really? The Chris Rock Show. Everybody like, “Who the fuck is fucking Mr. Cynthia?” I can’t figure it out. “All right, I’m gonna holler at y’all.” “Tell you mama Roosevelt came by here.” Your ass old, n i g g a. I know I’m old ’cause I got old-ass friends. In terms of influences, he took heavily from Hip-Hop (admitting that his most famous bits is actually a take on the Ice Cube song “US”) But he also took heavily from the pulpit, being influenced by the cadence of preachers, specifically his grandfather, who was a preacher in South Carolina when Rock was growing up. And you can take a picture of your pussy, now, okay? The Chick-fil-A man didn’t want gay people to eat chicken. I got so much equipment, my neighbors come and work out. 2005. You ain’t put no water splash emoji on there or nothing. Let me see you work, work, work, work, work Why the fuck am I doin’ this right now? All these little songs, man. She’s been killing the game. Smaller venue, no flashy outfit, just a comfy tee. I ain’t got no… I don’t know how this work. “Hey, girl. That’s pretty late be havin’ a damn baby.” But don’t get me wrong, if you 55 and wanna have a baby, go on ahead, have a damn baby. Maybe, you know.” You ever thought about it? “Michelle, Sasha, Malia, y’all coming? We doin’ grown-up shit. I didn’t know y’all was doing it like that up in here today.” They’re doing it big. Little Chris Brown in and out of jail. The second half of the special, however, is something altogether different. That goldfish knew there wasn’t no water outside that tank. Okay. They don’t know they doing it. That mofo be like, “Come on, son of a bitch!” Whoo! It’s what all the kids on right now. That’s the latest thing. You don’t strip no more. Somebody talk about “Run!” N i g g a, your ass can’t outrun no damn lion. Ooh. “Shit, damn.” So I’m walkin’ him to the car, mad about the wrong thing. Where did you find me? Muammar Gaddafi, merked. Rightly so. The stripper Tourette’s. You ever notice, once you a stripper and do the shake-a-booty style, you can’t stop doing it. They heard we were gonna build a wall. “Hyah! Hyah! it's on netflix and it's great. [Rock] The hardest gig I ever did was following Cedric the Entertainer on New Year’s Eve in Oakland. Rick Ross lost weight. He’s a different comedian, and seems to be a different human being. I’m talking about Osama bin Laden, merked. As the president, if they keep fucking with him, I don’t know if he gonna make it all the way to the end. That gotta be fucked up. Boop. I said, “What?” They’re like, “Yeah, he here cussing in the school.” I’m like, “My little boy?” They like, “Yeah.” I say, “Oh, no, you know. Because she my daughter, she expect to ball though. He wasn’t placed on trial, he put himself on trial. Somebody got to be on there talking. For real. So it like a Fetty Wapera, if you will. Go on in.” Gotta try to do it. Let’s check it out. “Trying to find one of my Levitras.” Got this damn election going on. I don’t even know what you supposed to do you see a loose-ass lion. They might be talkin’ about something. There go Trump, dude. “I heard you ain’t supposed to move.” You be coming up with all kinds of shit. I ain’t trying… I ain’t tryin’ to go up no goddamn elevator. There’s been a lot of controversy around chicken. Boop. Didn’t even know I was doing the shit, dawg. Goddamn Donald Trump, man. Barack been taken some serious folks out. You go there, you be seeing… You come down here… I went to Atlanta one time, saw a girl… Her ass was so fat, I thought I had on 3-D glasses, n i g g a. I was, “Ooh!” Ooh, I gotta take these off! She wanna ball out. In a New York Times interview published on Wednesday, Mr Rock reflected on the lesson he offered on police brutality in his 2018 Netflix special, Tamborine. You go to your grandmama’s house to go play… Here come this little motherfucker, “Hey, unh-unh, whoa, whoa!” Where you think you goin’? It was a dream. Hey, Nashville! Might want to get you a little piece of that right there, boy. One little boy, his shirt was so long, he had a train on the back. Give it up for Ced, Cedric – Give it up for Ced – Cedric Give it up for Ced, Cedric The Entertainer – Ced, Cedric – Give it up for Ced, Cedric Give it up for Ced, Cedric – Give it up for Ced – The Entertainer – Ced, Cedric – Give it up for Ced – Cedric – Give it up for Ced – Cedric – The Entertainer. Know them bugs that run into your windshield when you driving the highway? It’s one of the most literal and vulnerable art forms, Without melodies or brushstrokes to softer our points or ease our metaphors. Do you chew gum at your job?” [audience laughing] All I know is that shit make me want some gum like a motherfucker. With love.” But he dope though. “17’2″, motherfucker!” He’s on the other side like, “Throw the stick back, homes! Joe Montana wear these right here.” He’s 60-something. “And we’ll take some gravy and sop it up through there.” We be in the house like, “Oh, shit!” God damn, Paula Deen, that shit sounds good as a motherfucker there!” That’s why it hurt us when she said it. [chuckles] Soon as the band starts up, y’all get to rocking though. Sorta feels like different specials stitched together. I ain’t thought of that before. Let’s talk about Tamborine: The How, The What, and the Why: While he still has moments of vibrancy, there is a definitely mellowing of his physically and his vocals. I’m center stage. Well, one, that’s a stereotype that we love chicken. Talking about, “Yeah, I think next Saturday we should all get together” and go over to Reggie’s house…” N i g g a, you going to be 86ed Wednesday. ‘Cause Paula Deen cook the way we like shit. But he swim around that tank for two days like, “Man, this some bullshit, man.” I’m a fish. Talking about “Follow me @Willy Earl.” [laughs] Man, ain’t nobody gonna follow nobody named Mr. Willy Earl on goddamn Instagram. Catch your breath. Yay! Them n i g g a s on the other side of the wall like this. I’m riding in the car with my 12-year-old daughter. I’m like, “Willy Earl”, come on, man, don’t put those old-ass records on there, man.” A ringtone for young people, man. “Don’t bring your punk ass here to eat no goddamn chicken.” I could be off by a word or two, but I believe it’s somewhere right in there. So I be tryin’ to do the Snapchat, and the keep it sexy, you know. “I ain’t doing that shit.” I wasn’t even really upset that Mary J. had sang about chicken. Anybody know somebody that used to strip and don’t no more? Dudes like, “I don’t get it.” Lemonade got too much tea in it for me. Look at this, man. You gotta do that. This is a real goddamn song, man. “He deader than a motherfucker.” They all like, How do I Say good-bye? Listen.” Listen, is it Trevor? A Comedian in Transition: Chris Rock and Tamborine. Black people see it. I’m gonna have to stop fucking with these Honey Nut Cheerios, n i g g a… “if that’s going to happen every time.” Dude, we got one little move that we know we old. They down there getting ready. But, c’mon. She like, You gotta eat the booty like groceries Now wait. You know your ass old when you leave like this. These are huge names in comedy. Crazy shit in the news. It’s got melody to it, but out of nowhere, it’ll turn into some gangsta shit. He the only president in the US history looking like Kevin Gates over there. So it makes sense in that way too that he went internal, Some people may see it more like a speech, other may eel like a few specials stitched together. So if you a chicken, you can’t be out on the farm making plans and shit. I saw Lamar Odom… God bless Lamar Odom. Them bugs see your car lights. He is known for his roles as Detective James Carter in Brett Ratner's Rush Hour film series and Smokey in F. Gary Gray's Friday.He became a frequent stand-up performer … Even in your mind you might hear your song and just do stripper shit. He can make you laugh with a look. Come on, Donald. Fetty Wap. She was in college a couple years. Don’t worry about it.” “That’s what everybody calls you?” “Yeah, everybody calls me that.” So I’m like, “All right.” So all week long… my ass talking about, “Bominicious, what up, boy?” “Hey, Bominicious, you gonna come over here watch the game with us?” “Hey, Bominicious, run to the store, grab some beer, come on back.” My coz said, “What’d you call him?” “Bominicious. We don’t even wear our shit no more, man. Go on, enjoy yourself, John. I know he ain’t gonna put on no suit that last day. My little daughter, she 12. Burning up all this energy right here. Thank y’all! [Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, Cedric the Entertainer! They all long and lanky. I got a cousin excited to see me. Jonathan Mussman is an accomplished Executive Producer, Producer, Executive In Charge, Production Executive for numerous award winning specials, series and documentaries including such series as "Catfish," … I’m the captain now.” Everybody think they can do what Barack did, man. I remember the New York Times remarking that he mixes the voice of a preacher with that of a litigator, and you definitely see that at play here. That young music. [audience cheering, whistling] Laid up in here too, I saw. This n i g g a had lions and tigers and bears, oh, my! “On WillyEarl.com? They music has changed too, boy. [chuckles] Shit, man. – “Uh…”. “Look, these ain’t no regular Fruit of the Looms is what I got on.” I got that. Crack: Cocaine, Corruption & Conspiracy Jan 11, 2021. It’s all right. I ain’t know what it was. Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande, Childish Gambino, Kendrick Lamar, The Carters and extra have been introduced as winners in pop, rap and concrete classes. [Ice Cube] He one of the OGs, one of the all-time greats. Narrator 2 Credits. [Ice Cube] Talented, gifted, naturally funny. I like rap, all kinds of rap, but rap got so aggressive now, man. Your email address will not be published. He’s like, “Don’t bring your punk ass over here” try to eat no goddamn chicken up in here, is what I’m saying.” Damn, Chick-fil-A man, that’s aggressive. He released more specials include Bigger and Blacker (1999) Never Scared (2005) and Kill the Messanger (2008) And by the way, I have *a lot* to say about Kill the Messanger. Everybody was upset about it. SPONSORSBecome a Sponsor. In Ohio, a couple of years ago, this dude had, like, a zoo at his house with real zoo animals. You know, the swim… They be getting you into different kind of shape. I love that they exist, and when I watched these specials I loved the sentimentality and the sweetness, but many of them didn’t seem too memorable to me.